"It´s because i view my experiences as personal"

I sat down by the fountain in Kungsträdgården this afternoon with a picnic-bag from Burger King; a coffee and a cinnamon-bun, opening the book Brida, written by Paulo Coelho, given to me on Sunday by my mum. 

Already in the foreword my eyes stopped at this sentence. "It’s because I view my experiences as personal”.  And I thought that this is where our fear is sprung form: from the conception of self: of Ego. In our eager to reach originality, which is the measurement of success for us in the 80´s generation, we loose contact with our self. We watch our self form the outside, labeling right and wrong, but we don’t feel our soul form the inside; we watch our selves as divided, excluded from the whole. It brings us loneliness that we are trying to feed by developing a strong Ego. We don’t realize that we do, like the cat, chase our own tail. Instead of covering up we should open up.

This brings my thoughts back to the book club yesterday and the book written by the nun Pema Chödrön

“What happens to us when in the process is that we leave home and becomes homeless. To run around in the state of desire, to cling, is to directly relate to how things are. Loneliness isn’t a problem and nothing that are to be solved. The same goes for our experiences”

Paulo Coelho continues with putting up two different lines of how a human can relate to its surroundings. Builders or farmers. The first build, finishes up a project to realize that they have built them self in. they are trapped. Farmers can be hit by both storms and changes in seasons but compared to a building a garden never cease to stop growing, it always needs its attention, therefore it makes life to an adventure. The farmers recognize each other. They know that in every plants´ history there is the whole worlds´ growing.  

Once again I´m back to that I have a choice. A huge thing to take in. What do I want then ? Do I know; is it just hidden inside me or am I just a confused soul ?