One way out

My biggest issue for the moment is that I fell out of control, as my life is slipping thorough my fingers. What do I do then; I have a glass of whine. Since when did that solve anything?

 

Before that I made a decision that one way out of the rounder-bound is to stop looking for a job and start working. I have my own business, make it work. Do some jobs sell them and maybe some long-term or project based ones will pop-up. This is the typical pattern. I have a deep conversation that leads to great progress in how to solve the situation I am in. Instead of putting all my energy into o that I decide burry my head in the sand. Having a glass too much. I then erase the positive effect with putting on a negative. A newly found friend said to me over a dinner when sharing life stories that " maybe you just should stay away from drinking, as it don' t bring you any good". i heard him and probably it got stuck on my mind as I have kept the words. He is right. I think that i was holding on to it as we all to to things that are a habit, or that we find a kind of pride in trying to manage, it is as if I give up if I don' t find a way. but what i didn't thought of then were that by giving up i might win. 

I say thank you herbalife for keeping me going these days. Without my shakes I would have been more depressed and more filled with anxiety. I know it because this is not the first time around that I am in this position. But, hopefully the last time in this appearance, as I decides here and now to put an end to this vicious circle. I now know what the trigger point is.

Dexter said in one episode “ how could I loose my earlier control “ and “ where do I find it again” he just like me had to make the code in to his own by believing on what he did and that it was right. And in that I have my answer.  My code. I just have to build it up with and fill in what it contains and not. To put up the rules that is to be obeyed that is what my process has been about since 2004 and when set, everything will be much more smooth as I then know what, where, when and why I do as I do. I will act in a conscious way and that will give control.