The line is from Star Wars when the master fist meets his apprentice, Anakin.
The interesting thing about this is that it has been on my mind sense I read the Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield, many years ago. I have given it some thought from now and then and especially in tricky situations such as my various travels. Where I have put my self into situations where I have no choice but to, “trust the force”, to borrow even another well-known line from Star Wars. But I have also thought about what kind of persons I do attract, not in a bar-flirty kind of way but on a more regular basis. I do believe that we all are like magnets attracting what ever we think. Mindfulness is hence more important than anything. I have seen it in the new age movie “the secret” but I prefer it the Jedi-way; where they work with the force, not against it, believing that by trusting it you will be apart of it.
To quote another movie that is one of my favorites as a grown up and was as child watching it on television every sunday morning with my grandpa:
“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear “, Zorro.
Why do I post this at all? Today I met a lady that made me look at my self in a different light.
It all started a month ago when I lost my job due to cutbacks, I had arranged another job and was just going to start it when something inside me screamed NO. I listened, which is unusually for me, and turned the job down. I talked to my mum and said that I was more confused than ever, this time in a different way: I couldn’t get a hold of my self, I didn´t know what to know any more and when trying to figure out I just got even more confused. This weekend sitting at the dinner table at Sandhamn my phone rang and my mothers’ friend said that she had booked me an appointment with a lady that she thought could be helpful for me. I said thank you and today I rang her doorbell.
It felt like the most obvious thing to do and at the same time I had no clue about what to expect. I went in there with an opened mind. And here I think I have to refer to the book Brida again.
“Her arrival this day puts an end to a chapter in both of our lives. He knew it- cause he had the knowledge of the purpose and traditions of the masters. He needed her as much as she needed him”
I don´t fully know if I understand what Paulo Coelho means but today I felt a reciprocal connection on another level with a lady, we might call her my mentor for the time being; On the surface i stepped into a regular parlor in a flat where people have been living for generations. But it was something more than so, an energy. I was met, at the door by a lady with a genuine friendly face, a calmness fell entered my body for the first time in long time. I felt that I could breath. She later on cleared my mind.
A word came to her in the beginning of our session "fresh start" followed by “loving-kindness” and I ended our evening by picking a card out of 95 that said, “Everything is love”. This might sound gibberish to you, but its actually pretty clear. If my focus is this “loving-kindness” then I have something to organize my logic and my principles around: A CODE OF MY OWN. (Oh yeah you haven’t heard about my obsession with Dexter so for now I just give you that by a fact and later on I will explain it deeper to you.)
While sitting there by the table, she suddenly asked me to write down "loving kindness". This is a absolute normal request if it would have been said to me beforehand to bring a notebook. I did ask my mothers friend that hooked me up if I was to bring anything. She told me that her daughter, who has visited this lady a few times, usually says that sometimes she just feels that she want to bring this or that and so she does. I gave it some thought the seconds after hanging up the phone on sunday, feeling a pressure that I should feel that I ought to bring something. Fortunately that thought left my mind. Today I was in a rush and just scrawl down her details in my logbook. How I come to buy this is a coincidence it self.
I was at a lunch with a former colleague on friday, he came into my life in a strange way, he told me that he would pay the lunch-bill if I bought a log-book. Deal.
So here I was sitting by this ladies table, picking up my book out of my bag, a bit surprised my self actually because I realized that I just brought the one thing that I should. She asked me to write down "Fresh start " on the front page.. but she stopped in the middle of the sentence as she said "oh, the front page might be taken" . No actually not, I applied, I did save the first page, the first cuff, for some unknown reason:I cant explain why, I just did. So here I was filling it out with letters, amazed by the beauty of life and the capacity of "the force".
We tend to think that to put up with a change in our life we have to erase something. We kind of condemn our own manners and this brings about guilt and leaves us in the world of Ego as we labels and judge. My master today told me something else. Instead,
“ You should ask for bringing forward your true self, in one dimension are you already finished, you are perfect “.
Remember my line on the top of this page:
“You have to die to start living”
That is what I have done, slowly the last years, with an acceleration that urged me to dare to loose it all, this is where you can start to live. I have been given a fresh start and from now on my primary purpose, above all others, are to feel good and to be happy, that’s not what I strive for but that’s what I’m going to create out of every day. That my friends are most of ours wishes, and there is only one that can make it happens and that is you. My way, and I say this because I do believe that we all have to find our own way. It s like the old say that all roads leads to Rome. If your way is a religious, a pilgrimage or another it doesn’t matters. I also do believe that our way will present it self it’s only a matter of whether you are ready to see it or not. But, back to my way. For now, and this I might also add is my conviction that everything is under change, perishable, so my way might change or it may turn, but for now I will act accordingly to my code. By bringing me a focus that is not concrete in the sense of do this or do that but of a general characteristic I have found my focus. And now I feel that a quote from Star Wars is in place:
"Your focus determines your reality"
So, what did I actually want to say by this? Oh yeah. By letting go, be aware of and open minded you work along with the force of the universe and not struggling against it, you let the force guide you and a mentor or master will appear. If you trust it, you will be surprised what a lot of “co-incidences” that you will experince.
I boost myself with herbalife today to get back on track. One week I have been of track. So, yesterday I stayed home the whole day had pancakes for breakfast at 13.30 as that’s when I woke up. Watched Star Wars, had a lunch smoothie- shake by 17.30 and thought that I should start to get a hold of my self. So I loaded my laptop with Mamma Mia the movie, and cleaned up my apartment. I saw the movie twice before I could have a shower and make some dinner, which I had around 20.00. Well that only made me sleep-in today again.
I woke up around 11 had some coffee and tried to normalize my self after a long sleep. An hour later I had a smoothie-shake and all my pills. By 18.30 I had pasta with bacon and shrimps for lunch with all vitamins again (usually I just take them once a day). And the dinner was taken on my walk home along the quay in a Stockholm lighten up in the evening. How could a day better end?
While writing this I remember even another quote from the book Brida, which I will leave you with for now:
“The night is only a part of the day”
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