Finished up the whole day of in-port race with doing interviews with the skippers of Eriksson and the winner TelefonicaBlue live out at the RaceVillage, felt cool. As my shoes were wet since the boat-ride I put on my Rubber-boots and they did success at the Café opera later in the night after a few beers at the Puma barge with the GreenDragon guys. Think I looked so strange that people thought I had to be famous in order to wear flowerish rubber-boots, shorts and a Ericsson sailor jacket at the night club.
More Radio, and more interviews with the worlds top sailors, went back in my restaurant career and back to selling candy, coffee and swipe tables. Done radio in the mornings but I can't do it anymore, I can't be torn apart as it doesn' t make me do anything fully and i want to deliver everything I do with a professionalism. And most of all I have to withdraw the thought of a boyfriend or even a flirt it just makes me loose focus. Or i try to hide behind it, the easy life of having a blast. Tries to take my herbalife but it doesn't work so god for the moment, as soon as I step into the restaurant life I have a drink to much, eat more sugar and less food, feel uncomfortable with haveing working clothes on and looses focus. It just aint worth it! On top of that I have a cold that takes my energy and it is wrong time in the month. And I also think that I have to sort among people around me, What does everyone wan't ?! What do I want?!
In a movie I watched the other night about a pokerplayer, Lucky You, where his father told him that "You live your life as you should play your cards and play your cards as you should live your life" play safe at the table and dare to take risks in your real life. In the same film they also said that everyone are trying to not feel alone, I think that has to do with the feeling of being a part of something bigger and that in turn are related to feel that your excistence has a meaning, that your life does. We all just have different ways of filling the gap, searching for a strategy to do so or for someone. Is it filling we need or is it acceptance of the black whole or is it that we actually are to find our task, our specific mission in this lifetime and then we feel complete or is it so that we wont feel complete until we decide to do so.
Team Russia is in Stockholm and might start for the last leg to St Petersburg.
Tomorrow I will get up around 8 and have a slow morning, with coffee and read the paper. Then hopefully plan my last day with VolvoOceanRace, the start from Sandhamn, maybe do some liveradio from the village about the preparations. Maybe sort out the Russian situation, are they allowed to re-enter the challenge again or not. There is a party tomorrow night might join that and also heard that there is another party for all involved in the VolvoOeanRace Stopover on thursday. We´ll se, one step at the time. Tomorrow hopefully no Restaurant and some Radio, arrangements and some socializing. But I have learnt that you can plan but you will never know what happens or who to show up etc...
No comments:
Post a Comment