book inspiration

It is hard to come to understand some things of your surrounding, how people interact and how to play that game: i actually bought the book "the game" to gain some inspiration of how it works, I also bought american psycho to dig deeper into what it´s all about and when I the same night came to a friend he had a book, i dont remember the title on, that calimed that everything we do are drawn, all our actions and our like or dis like, from sexuality. So further on I am drinking my shakes,a t least in the mornings, trying to get food in to my stomach during the day and I will try not to eat any unclean food but it´s hard to put into practice, at the same time I now will extend my splitted personality by dive into literature, and to keep on to try to build my every day life out of the code of loving kindness, it´s not easy i can tell. 

For the moment, working in a restaurant is a challenge to apply the code, both considering colleagues and guests and the fact of time schedule for eating and working hours. But I see it as a practice and i know that I only have a few days left here then I am back in town, in my apartment and I can start building routines for real as I am starting a day time job on monday.  a new job also means new possibilities. 

The funny thing is that it seams like it all wraps up for the moment, this summer has been, without me knowing it a turning point in my life, what started here at Sandhamn in 2003 will also come to its end here at the same place, six years later, autumn 2009. And that feels like a relief on me. Like i actually can let go of a burden that has been holding me down. 

The measurements will be posted on monday. During this last rough weeks I have been so glad to have my herbalife shake, even though I haven´t been taking it regular I have taken it and for the last three days I actually start to feel less eager for sugar and sweets, and that´s a good start.  I also get some neutrishment in to my body witch helps me from falling into depression.