Oh my, it´ s just a week to Christmas, santa and the Christmas carols follow us from the glory morning until we once again are allowed to slip into bed and hide underneath covers and pillows, hide from the cold and follow the snowflakes falling outside our window.
The code I have tried to apply to my life is not easy at all times as it includes a change in my regular pattern of thinking a re-installation of soft ware one could say. That’s one side of it, the other is what I get in return, I am for the first time ever building my self and my life. To remind my self I have small things like the Buddhist flags blowing in the wind on my balcony, the colourful dots on the picture. I have also for a few weeks in a row, a prayer from the book by the nun Pema Schödrön, it´ s a two verse reminder of humanity and loving kindness and asking of guidance and strength to keep up believing. In the beginning I did a short mediation before and one after and then I took my morning shake but the time has not been there the last weeks. The meditation has been left aside, and as I still has this pneumonia and I had a cold, been tired and not able to do any exercise I have not either been able to eat to much, so the morning shake has been re-placed with two cheese sandwiches and coffee. As I have overslept, not so that I have been late to work, bur reduces my 1 ½ hour to 30 minutes I also have bought take away coffee cups so that I can bring my coffee and drink it at the subway, this make me not spend 14 crows on coffee at 7-11 every morning.
I have to work with my hours but I am on it, for once I don´t feel like I failed this time not beeing regular with everything, because know that I have progressed and that I am on the right track, I just need to get my own structure and to know what and how to prioritise.
The impact the weather has on us, at least me is amazing. Since I started writing I can follow a pattern of deeper understanding or maybe I shall call it a need of questioning and discuss the human nature when the wind blows no matter if it is a warm but heavy wind in Thailand or here as a snowstorm, it fills me with anxiety and calls for a panic attack and a sleepless night, a form of excitement in the body, and in a un explainable way cleans me up form the inside out. I feel filled with energy and an eager to deal with things, to be alive ! So lets do it, lets live the life we want to live … it aint harder than you make it to love every day.. you got to start at some point, why not right here and right now..! Do it and be firm and focused and realistic, start with one thing and remember not to take something away but to add another
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