I’m a chicken

… Or at least I have been. When I said yesterday that I missed to have someone to talk things trough with or else I should do meditation, then I might have taken it to the extremes. What I didn’t thought about, and that I have never considered   (how strange it might seam) being an alternative solution is to talk to the person that are messing with my head. No matter if it is work or your private life. A former colleague once said by the coffee machine where a lot of the worlds biggest mysteries I think have been solved here, anyway this day he said that I had a great schedule  ( working part time) hrmpf well for now but not considering the paycheck. He then said:

-       Do you know what answer you should give on that

-       . No, apparently not, I said a bit confused

-       You should say that, one makes its own day.

I didn’t like the answer back then, but probably because I did escape from everyone, everything and that including myself.

Today I did something I think I never done before. I dared to send that sms that you don’t want to come back with the wrong answer. I told him how I felt and that I didn’t want it to be this way. This is a guy that I was dating a few months ago.  I got an sms and a phone call and the situation is cleared.

And now back to where I started. This is how one should deal with life. Talk to the person that your mind and probably in this case also your heart won’t let go, and not talk to everyone else, make theories based on other persons or situations that just bring you further away form the core. The same goes for your work. I met my old bosses and got my self job during Volvo Ocean Race, I then had to get an answer on what days I was going to have paid job for Skärgårdsradion in order to put together a schedule for the whole period of time. And I got my answer, now have a schedule and today I realized why I am bored of listening to people whining on and on about their husbands, children, their boss, parents or who ever they now have complains about; deal with the situation. This do however assume that you know what you want. So if you don’t take time to figure it out…

Now I´m going to put on another hood-jacket and my cozy “socks” and move my Mac into the bed have a herbalife shake and watch either La Zona or Body of lies that I just rented. Oh yeh my cap is on to, I can tell you that it is about 6 degrees outside and windy and I doubt that I have more than marginally that inside my apartment, I can feel the wind and the water was kind of a mix of yellow and orange… yes I do live in Stockholm in Sweden, but I do wonder sometimes !

Ps. it is a relief to realize that is is ME who makes MY decision and it is me who take the consequences for them. I have to say it again because it amazes me that I haven't thought about it before. I have done it before but not consciously, besides when out traveling, and the only reason for that is that I haven´t had any other ways to do it than to deal with situations and people along the road and with that make decisions of whom to trust based on my own mind. And most important to trust in your self.