How can it be so hard to do the things that has been in our instincts since the beginning, not sex that is another chapter, but eat, drink water and sleep. Woke up at 11.00 with a black cloud ahnging over me. Not surprised as this were not the first morning I did it. I know that I have to get up around 06.00 to take my shake and do my training. Maby that’s why I wake up depressed as I catch a feeling of defeat towards myself. Why and once again why didn’t I get up when the alarm loundly tried to tell me so.
I started out this herbalife-project with grace for 2.5 week ago but then something happened. I don’t have a job for the movement and in my eager to solve that quest and to deal with being broke and singel in Stockholm I lost control. Monday went ok, but then it fell. And I have now lerant that loosing control is the worst one can do. I managed to keep up with my one shake a day but the morning-one sometimes were taken efter e few coffee around noon. Water and exercise did not fit in. I did manage to go to a job- intervju, finnish up a radio piece that I hope that P3 will take as I could really need the money, I also finnished up some old tasks as burn and mail some radio- shows to the people that I have intervjuved. But my apartement could really need a cleaning and so could I. Suddenly it was saturday and SandhamnsÖringen a whole day of work that kept my attention until midnight yesterday. Today I m a zoombie and it feels impossibel to actually take control of the hours of the day. I m productive but is it on the cost of my health and when that drops on the behalf of my well-being and do I act strategically and effective or am i just tumbling in the dark?
It’s a thin line of beeing active and to be in a spin that travels with a faster speed than you can control. So what do you do then? Lower the speed push the break, would be the correct answer. Mostly in real life I think it kind of scares us so we hide and by that we tend to speed up even more until we hit a wall or someone stoppes us. So how do I actually slow down when the stress about job, money and my life in a whole are buzzing around my head.
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